first day as a university student #tiredAF

So.. this is the thing, where ever you go, if its the first time, they'll have orientation week. (which will torture you like hell)but trust me.. its only for that week. the day i wrote this post is on my second day in U at 6.21 am. and i'm tired!!!!!

as a muslim in malaysia, your sahur will be latest by 5 AM but if your eating with a whole group, u need to wake up around 4 AM. YES!!! I FEEL YOU!! But hey. i dont live with my parents anymore who put me and my siblings as their priority anymore. i need to stand alone. the campus here is awesome! we have all the things we need: swimming pool, archery field, gimnasium etc. my U is soooooooo cool!! the seniors here are also nice too. i got my room near the cafe, yeay.. but i'm fasting.. (for now). my roomate is quite nice. she's a johorian and nice AF!! oh she's also a muslim so yea... anyways, so far i can see that my life here is ok i guess besides hving tht feeling of almost fainting due to my anemia lmao. life as a student here is ok so far same goes as a roomate but i hv trouble with my housemate. i'm not use to new people but i think i'll get along later.

I'm Murni Fazira trying to tell you guys that i'm going through my new phase of life in a new enviroment. An enviroment where i have to leave my family and my boyfriend. all i hope for my whole university life is that i'll get to grad early and further my studies early annnddd finish it early so i can go to my second and third face of life which is WORK AND MY VERY OWN FAMILY.

i think thats all for now.. i had to continue this late due to the programs they hv.. so yea.. bye2 and thanks for reading

HERE COMES MY UNIVERSITY LIFE.. #imgettingmydiploma!

it's an exciting news for me coz unbelievably i got my SPM results.. they were not so great but good news! no fails and 6 credits with 2As!!Alhamdulillah i'm so thankful!! (and excited af) yes i know its weird..

"What's so great about getting 2 As and 6 credits? its not like u scored all As"

Oh i know how u feel right now. tbh i'm not a smart student. infact im troublesome most peeps in my class knows how troublesome i am in class coz i dont focus, i dont study, i dont finish my homeworks. all i do in class is either sleep or eat. so how the hell did i succeed? Simple. pray, believe in urself and most importantly ask if u dont know something or simply read extra stuff. one more.. obviously u hv friends right? so they are also helpful af for notes.. u can be lazy af to write down notes (cause i was like tht) but dont be to lazy to take ur time to read and understand them.. i did some last minutes studies. to me i had no hope of passing any of my papers.. i thought i have to repeat my SPM (my parents thought the same thing) but huge thanks to Allah he made my life interesting.. he added suprises for me..

thts what i can tell abt my SPM results. i applied my UPU like sooooo late...(3 days b4 deadline) then i got my interview letter like a day late then the day i should go for the interview. i was havocly completing every single thing i need to complete. then from ipoh to tg.malim was like only one and a half hours coz my dad was freaking speeding. as soon as i got to tg malim, i enterred the exam hall and theres only like 2 hours left instead 3 hours (real-time) the facilitator gave me a chance for me to sit for the test. it was a writing test. the next test was oral test. i had to speak/ tell a story *obviously in english* in front of two lectures. i was shaking thinking tht the test would be super hard and out of my league but i manage to calm myself down and did the test properly! //yeay me!//

but to be honest as i entered the exam hall for my writing test. i lost hope on succeeding the interview. but  Alhamdulillah i manage to get myself into UPSI!!

i know at this moment, my parents will be in shock about me being offered to university. all my life i was told by people around me that i am a loser. i cant succeed in what i'm doing and i'm not qualified to be what i am right now. but  Allah is fair to His people.. my creator, Allah SWT actually gave me the oppurtunity to show to these peeps that i can be whatever i want and i can be successful. i just need to believe in Him and myself.. also my parents..

my message here for you guys is.. dont give up believe in yourself and have hope, also pray for the best thing that u want for your life. its not hard. its not complicated either. its your choice to make it easy or hard for you. you are the remote control of your own life.

last but not least, thanks for spending your time reading my blog.. i love you guys!

i dont know (FAM)

i dont know how to live my life anymore. must it all be their choices? what about me? my happiness? feel neglected here.. feel like a puppet. my love life should be my choice and what rights do you hv on doing it for me? hv u ever come by and ask how am i today? NO. hv u ever come by and ask me if i need you guys? NO. i want to hv a happy fam like how my friends hv. is it bcoz of the incident 5 yrs ago you're not letting me choose my love life? bcoz of imran? bcoz of all the bullshits he told you tht you nvr asked your own daughter whether its a true story or not? where you nvr told me what he told you guys? where you trust tht piece of shit more than your own daughter? what hope do you hv on him if he's a drug dealer now? my guy do stuff far much better than he does even though he's not good in studies. he's really good in doing work and at least he's not the one who was once behind bars bcoz of drugs. you still want to praise him? sure. do it. be blinded by his covers. be blinded by his looks and smile. he never even really likes us. they were all pretenders telling other people that we are here living with opah just to waste her money. we are here to be a huge trouble to opah. isnt it true imran? I FUCKIN HATE YOU! you hardly come down and visits us here what do you know? and you're telling tht ur mom is the one who's been telling you all this bullshit. there's no point of you to tell its a fake story i created i hv witnesses and proof. you and your little fam is not apart of my family. i repeat YOU GUYS ARE NOT APART OF OUR FAMILY thank god you're not eligible to hold the status we all hv. it would be a disgrace if you are one of the leaders like us. U ARE NO PRINCE TO US NOT EVEN APART OF OUR ROYALTY FAMILY

Last Suprise

i dont know what to say.. that was what i saw this morning. Blood. maybe that's the last suprise. so before its to late and just in case some of you there are still looking through my blog. just to say that i'm sorry and i forgave what ever shit you guys gave me last year. haha i never like fighting or anything like that its not nice and tbh its against my life principle but i'm a girl who u shall not challenge. just ask my cousins what i did to them when i was a kid.. (not the one that once lived in U.K) never left a fight hanging and i never loose. getting what i want is my specialty haha. bad-ass? yes i am. there was once i threw pebbles to my friend's head cause he was just so fcking selfish and annoying. therefore i want to apologize to all of you there.. i didnt know my life was this short. until last year came. there is also this boy here i cannot make him go away from me no matter what i say. i just dont want him to be lonely when i'm not here anymore. i'm sorry i made u love me and such. i'm sorry for being a pain in your ass these few weeks. well i told you why anyways right? so yeah :) dont miss me when i'm really gone :D

no hate just loves,
MURNI

TRIALS THRILLS

TRIALS!! good luck to all the PT3 candidates and SPM candidates!!! Do the best and let Allah do the rest! besides tht hv a lot of fun too okay? you'll be needing the fun in studies to you know.. This is my last year i'll be in Ipoh!! EXCITED TO LEAVE AND NEVER COME BACK weird huh? at least i dont hv to face who ever that has been in my all this while.. I dont hv to think much about family and school anymore.. just money and studies and work and my life! :D but i'm gonna miss my bae for sure.. hurm missing him already.. SPM is a kick start of a pay-to-play life now.. my 17 yrs here in Ipoh was just a free trial... again GOOD LUCK GUYS!!!!!

we're not worth fighting for.. bye

such a fool! not again.. just get off me already mister.. i had enuff and i really wish i dont have to see your face again and fall for your tricks once more.. what we had was HISTORY tht i've deleted... for the sake of humanity leave me alone MAR. just let go of me and dont hunt me down all over again... bye2

i wish

i wanna do what i use to do again.. i use to have fun without worries.. move without boundaries.. smile and never have to fake it.. wish i have more time for that.. :) be grateful you're healthy.. be grateful u have people loving you.. be grateful you dun have limits just bcoz u're sick.. love yourself.. just be grateful on what u can do.. before everything started to go away from you... i wish i'm not sick.. i wish i didnt have to lose all my memory from my childhood.. i wish everything was back to where it was... i wanna be free and not stuck to medication.. i wish people dun have to die.. i wish i can spend more time with my family and friends.. there's no Ginny to grant my wish... fairy tails arent real.. magic is fake.. happiness wont last long and thats reality....