messed up

Dude!! i'm messed up i don't even know what i'm doing with my life. i need motivation. well i need to learn how to protect myself. I made a few mistakes which i should not. well obviously they are called mistakes for some reason. i need to value myself more i cannot do this to myself. i need to cope with myself. to be honest now. i'm a huge lump of mess.

:)

your smile,
your laugh,
your stupid foolish jokes,
the way how you put me in a situation i never like
how you make me fall for you all the time,
i need to let that go,
need to let YOU go,

you don't know
how much i miss you,
how much i need you,
how much i love you,
and,
how much you meant to me.

we've been through hell,
we've went through paradise,
and i thought everything was well,
until i realize it was just a trick of life,

it was just a fantasy,
for you and for me,
now's the time for reality,

keep this in mind and bear,
i know you wont give a damn
but just to make things clear,
i'm not your Eve, Adam

A short one

Why

When you thought it is over
It is just gonna grow bigger,
That stab you gave me
Still scar in me
I really dont know what went wrong
Or who was wrong
I just wanna know why

love

it's an amazing feeling
makes you feel like you're flying
it knows no boundaries and limits
it only gives you that hit
from the arrow of the cupid

at times it hurts
at times it turn its back on you
and sometimes it gives that stab
makes you bleed and plead
making you to ask
to give a second life
or just take the life away from you

but when it hits the spot
you know you don't want to stop
you know you don't wanna leave
you know you don't wanna give up
no, you don't

you'll eventually find a way
for it to stay
as long as you want it to be
as long as you wish it would be

they say,
it takes your five senses away
makes you blind deaf mute and everything else
and they think its useless

but trust me
you'll feel lively
the feeling to be loved
and in love
and that's love

-pandafreak07

me

i feel so insecure
feel so useless
i need to find a cure
so restless
i don't know what to do
or even to think
my head is full of you
and all of my sins
my head is not straight
what have i done
the things that i made
to you that I've done
cry cry cry
every night
oh my
i'm living in fright!
losing you was my last choice
is this a curse? or a second choice?
i need you i love you
and it fucking hurts
to what i have done to you
i'm nothing but a JERK!
i'm on my knees
pleading
wanting to ask for forgiveness
when i know inside u are bleeding

-pandafreak07-

"Friend"

you are my only friend

i want to take you to the end

i will never let you go

as you drink the blood that flow

i'm always the one who is wrong

but yet i'm not strong

always an outcast

alone in the class

no one to talk to 

no one to hold on to

till one day you were there

standing in front of me as i stare

didn't know your heart was fragile

didn't know i could make you cry

i'm a heart broker

with some mental disorder

what was i thinking?

am i the queen?

i'm gonna take a step

until i feel a stab

wasn't thinking

never was

one day it'll be drinking

what i lost

-pandafreak07-

x.x

heart ripped opened,
to pieces it is broken,

i didn't know and i am sorry,
but yet i'm not here to ask for mercy

i know that i am wrong,
and i'm not strong

i take the blame,
as it is all my fault,
i'm seeing an orange flame,
smoke? i thought

i didnt open up to you about anything,
i didnt want u to be thinking twice
am i something?
or am i ur 2nd choice?

hard to say goodbye,
as we just met,
will i cry?,
maybe till i'm dead

-pandafreak07-