fool

i screwed up pretty bad this time. i didn't tell the right person on time now it's to late. i know things wont be the same anymore but what can i say... things happen on a way you wont expect.. however or whatever is going to happen next always conslut the right person. no one else is better than the ones at home. at some points even ur friends arent that reliable

Little girl

i want to be called as someone's little girl. it's hard to throw that felling away. i still have feelings for him. guess all i can do is lie that i hate him. now and forever. i really wish i can turn back time and fix things back. i know what i'm doing now is making things worst. but to be fair i can't let  myself suffer alone. he was that guy i thought i can be together with and forget my past. but i guess i was wrong. he was not much different that others. i made a wrong choice and got stuck with it. what made me to have feelings for him bcoz i saw his other side. i saw his weak side and i want so much to protect him and tell him to stop being so insecure about things around him. i want to tell him that he can make change towards himself and there is still hope. i know how much insecure he is about himself towards others. what he has and dont, those stuff aren't necessary for him to think. scared you'll get off track and not wanted by others. he does not have to worry bout that bcoz i want to tell him so bad that everybody is there for him. I am there for him. it's true what he did to me was unforgiven, but it's not wrong for me to forgive, and i am still trying to forgive him.

what have i done?

i was blinded by love i was drunk by lust
i made a mistake and i can't turn back time
i don't know what to do
all i have in mind is suicidal act
if i have not fallen for you
i wouldnt be in this dramatical act

i have to act and put on a straight face
each time i feel the pain
i know i dont have hope
i know there's no way out.
but you know if i can't settle this out
you'll be the one they're gonna seek out

drugs

love is the most dangerous drugs among all. i don't know how to put this but its what i've been through. it can kill you not physically, but mentally. when it kills you mentally then physically it destroys you. my advice for all of you out there, if you want to fall in love, be sure you're ready for a commitment. it doesn't mean you're gonna get married, but you need to commit to your partner's heart. insanely i put myself into an unconditional love back then. it started 3 years ago. and it ended 5 months ago. its sad but still i need to face this. i need to face all the bullshit that i put myself in. i know i can

messed up

Dude!! i'm messed up i don't even know what i'm doing with my life. i need motivation. well i need to learn how to protect myself. I made a few mistakes which i should not. well obviously they are called mistakes for some reason. i need to value myself more i cannot do this to myself. i need to cope with myself. to be honest now. i'm a huge lump of mess.

:)

your smile,
your laugh,
your stupid foolish jokes,
the way how you put me in a situation i never like
how you make me fall for you all the time,
i need to let that go,
need to let YOU go,

you don't know
how much i miss you,
how much i need you,
how much i love you,
and,
how much you meant to me.

we've been through hell,
we've went through paradise,
and i thought everything was well,
until i realize it was just a trick of life,

it was just a fantasy,
for you and for me,
now's the time for reality,

keep this in mind and bear,
i know you wont give a damn
but just to make things clear,
i'm not your Eve, Adam

A short one

Why

When you thought it is over
It is just gonna grow bigger,
That stab you gave me
Still scar in me
I really dont know what went wrong
Or who was wrong
I just wanna know why