Adam

i've been in a relationship with this guy for a very long time. he literally meant the world to me. he literally is the only one that i wanna be with but he's not showing effort. he's not a bf material at all. i really wish he'd do something to make it up to me despite the shit he has put up and made me go through. i really love him i do. but i'm not gonna show it yet. not until he shows me he loves me. i've been hurt a couple hundred times. by the same person. yet here i am standing still trying to show him that i am with him no matter what the situation is. i really wish he'd stop hiding shit from me. if i were to marry a guy, i don't want to be the one who knows about shit the very last minute. if so you wanna make me your wife be open to me. say out what's bothering you and just tell me. i'm a wife and suppose to be your no.1 supporter in almost all situation. i'm disappointed with my own bf. really do. if Allah let us be together till the end, our engagement year and marriage year aren't far apart. i don't want shit to happen anymore. i'm exhausted trying to cover up his shit. i hv my own shits to cover up too. i hv my problems to solve too. i'm madly, deeply in love with this guy. my heart says to be stronger but my brain literally tells me to quit trying. i need him i still do. but if he's not ready then i guess he should just stop trying and giving me hope and still make me believe that "this" could still work. engagement year is getting near and here me and my bf are slowly falling apart hard time. idk what to do rn. really am disappointed.