Sunday 4 June 2023

Train Wreck

 If things were different I would probably have a happy life with the perfect boyfriend. Not having ti hurt anybody with my indecisive self. i would have the right answer to all the questions. would be more understanding and have the right sympathy and empathy. Wish my brain would be helpful. Now my life has been a train wreck. A terrible apocalyptic train wreck. I wish i was normal. i really do. 

Wednesday 31 May 2023

If you found this, read it.

 i'm in denial, that's what it is. i'm scared at the same time. i hate bipolar. but then i just feel like sometimes it's my fault i'm at this position. I tried my best doing all the things i thought i could. Trying to save everything without knowing my limit. trying to let go things i know i couldn't but i did it anyways. I wouldn't say "in loving memories" I'd say, "in all the tormented ways you left me. I've never hurt this much in my life. thanks to you, I've felt it in a first class seat. Now all i know is pain, depressed, and hopeless. I've hurt many people because of what you left in me. I even hurt my boyfriend because of you. Are you happy now? watching and making me like this? I hope to never see you again. May death comes faster than i expect. Be it you or me, I don't care anymore. Brother my ass!

Friday 26 May 2023

Friends

 Friends,

It's a thing if you have one,

You're popular,

It's a thing if you don't have one,

You're bitter


Being a socialist,

Thriving to be in the list,

Being an introvert,

Trying to stay quiet,


It's not I prioritize them more than I did with you,

It's not I disregard your existence,

I love them but not more than I love you,

I value them but not to keep you in the distance,


As precious they are to me,

You are the only one who gets me,

Among all the boundaries,

They've crossed and forced me to leave,

You on the other hand made it easy,

For me to reach and made it easy,

For me to reach,

To the place we'd be,

Together, Forever.

Sunday 23 April 2023

For you.

 For You,

Who comes first in any day,

Who matters first in any time,

Who made me feel loved in any way,

I love you.


Sun don't shine,

World wont turn,

It's cliché but fine,

I'll let our love burn.


Proud and amaze, 

Of how strong you are,

I know I'm like a maze

But you'd always find where my favourite spots are,


I can't be romantic,

I'm hopeless romantic,

But you took your time,

To see me share my shine;


I fall. I break,

I cry, I fake

No matter who am I,

You'd greet me with a smile.


A life with you,

Will one day be my hardest goodbye,

As long as i still have you, 

You will always be my favourite "HI"


Kisses and hugs can cure a sad face,

But you'll always be my happy place,


I know this is dumb,

But this is my way to say,

I love you Muhd Adam,

And I wish you'll stay.