Impulsive

 I have to agree that the old me is dead but somehow the new me is much more bitchier. The fact that I am now very much aware of how my surrounding work its either I don't give a fuck or I fuck around too much. I'm not here to give fake hopes anymore but sometimes it's fun to watch them beg. I know the old me would enjoy looking at people begging me but now I feel too guilty too face them that way. I am now a grown-ass women and I'm honestly done being bitchy. I just don't know how this would end. I want a happy ending not a troubled unresolve ending. I am growing and I am still trying my best to pick up the pieces and carefully mold them back together. I am trying to heal the old wounds that never left. It's just ridiculous when I looked back. I miss the old days yes but I really have to bury them deep. 

The Gap

Being the person i am, I hate doing assignments. I don't mind exams or quizzes or tests. I'm just too lazy to bother about assignments but then again, I need them in order to register what I've learn so far. I feel like shit when it comes to group assignments. I will do it but then I get anxious when i complete them. Yes I'm fucking insecure about my work. I feel like what I'm doing is not good enough. I feel like I'm not in the same level with my groupmates. despite the age gap, I feel illiterate and i don't actually like how my roommate keep asking me what work I'm doing cause it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. I can hear the disappointment in her "ok" or sigh. I know she means well but growing old makes you worry too much to enjoy the little things. Especially when u have bipolar. Sometimes it ok and most of it it's not.

Sakura is now back with her ****

 So, after a whole lot of shit that happened in the past few years i am finally starting to live. I gotta say that i literally miss a lot of things and my vocab has decrease so bad that i shocked myself re-reading the past post i've written in this blog. Anyways, I will start posting again after a fucking long break and it's not gonna be something child-suitable content. I love writing and i forgot how in love i was with my own words. The new posts are gonna be hectic as it was before. Sakura is back and she will obviously slay this time. I'mma get back to my assignments now, so i'll write soon! bye! -for now 

Love, Mur Sakura