She Died

I'm not perfect I have flaws. I cry. I made mistakes. But what I know about myself is that I’m strong enough to face bullshit that you put up for 3 fucking years. I held my tears, my anger, and I even make sure I look good enough for you. I make sure that I take good care of myself for you. But you never gave a damn shit on what I did. When you lost me you realised those by that time it's too late. The person who did all that is now dead. The moment she gave up on you, that’s when she died. She’s not coming back because of you. Where were you when she needed you? Didn’t she make you happy? She gave all of her when she was yours right? But why? Why did you make her felt that way? As if she wasn’t enough, as if she hurt you, as if she never been there for you. You let her slip away. You let her fall. She appreciated you. She stood there when you fell she held you up again. But you didn’t appreciate her at all. Wasn't she enough? 

Adam

i've been in a relationship with this guy for a very long time. he literally meant the world to me. he literally is the only one that i wanna be with but he's not showing effort. he's not a bf material at all. i really wish he'd do something to make it up to me despite the shit he has put up and made me go through. i really love him i do. but i'm not gonna show it yet. not until he shows me he loves me. i've been hurt a couple hundred times. by the same person. yet here i am standing still trying to show him that i am with him no matter what the situation is. i really wish he'd stop hiding shit from me. if i were to marry a guy, i don't want to be the one who knows about shit the very last minute. if so you wanna make me your wife be open to me. say out what's bothering you and just tell me. i'm a wife and suppose to be your no.1 supporter in almost all situation. i'm disappointed with my own bf. really do. if Allah let us be together till the end, our engagement year and marriage year aren't far apart. i don't want shit to happen anymore. i'm exhausted trying to cover up his shit. i hv my own shits to cover up too. i hv my problems to solve too. i'm madly, deeply in love with this guy. my heart says to be stronger but my brain literally tells me to quit trying. i need him i still do. but if he's not ready then i guess he should just stop trying and giving me hope and still make me believe that "this" could still work. engagement year is getting near and here me and my bf are slowly falling apart hard time. idk what to do rn. really am disappointed.

shattered hearts

family are people who you trust, family are people who you rely on to. my fault as to trust the wrong person as a family. i had 7 awesome brothers an a sister. they are the people who i actually called homies, my familia. People who i trust the most, but i can't believe there was a poison among the 9 of us. a person who we all took as a family and a person who we felt pity for. that person legitly don't deserve to be accepted in the circle the first place.

i'm not saying this because i hate her. i don't. i'm just disappointed why would she do such thing to me and the whole family. especially me. if i were to expose shit about her it'd be bad af she might have to stop studying but i really don't wanna do it. but she made me feel that way instead. i have no idea why? was it because i was pissed at her and called her a bitch right infront of her face or was it because she felt insecure with me?

whatever her reason is idc anymore i just have shattered hearts rn and really don't wanna see her or even text her. not after what she had done. she didn't even came up and apologize to  me. but imma stop bragging about her rn. i'm tired of shit.