I'm trying so hard trying to maintain my sanity. I want to go berserk so much but i know it's gonna burn bridges. I have no more energy trying to control myself and apparently at this state i believe my meds are not working. I'm literally at the brink of my life. I don't know where I'll fall and those people i thought who'd catch me was never there. I'm alone and I'm scared. I'm too scared because i know how much of a monster i can be. I don't have anyone in my life that understand how my bipolar works. I'm back in my depression phase and I'm trying my best to avoid unwanted events but the pressure i'm going through is killing me. I desperately want to kill myself right now. I really hate this feeling and i cannot control it. I don't know where to get help and i'm far from my hometown and my mom is sick. I have no one right now.
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