Boat

Being a student is hard yes but being in a relationship that's like a sinking boat is harder. you know it's about to sink but SOMEHOW it didn't. I'm tired of panic attacks and paranoia and overthinking things. It's exhausting. I know that I should've leave the moment it started to have holes and water slowly coming in but i can't cause it was my boat. It was my effort on every plank and nails. It was mine to begin with. He was the one that hopped in. He was the one that started to touch things he shouldn't have. It was suppose to be a boat that could fit a family and the fact that it is at a sinking state made me realize how hard work can turn to waste. I'm tired of asking him to fix it and I'm tired to be the only one who knows how to fix it. I want to leave so bad but that's my boat. I built it. I took it through all the storms and hurricane. Yes there was sunny days and warmth and sunshine. But when storms barge in I was the only one standing in the deck. Its like a one man show. It's a fucking boat! I can't do it alone!